中古男人

You woke up because of nightmare.
I think these dreams reflect your fears. Also you feel sorry and guilty.
In fact, you are already a great mother. You sacrificed your life time for supporting your child.
Please use a more balanced view point to see the relationship between you and child.
Please know an important thing. You are his mother so you love him, this viewpoint is not balanced. In fact, you love him so you are his mother
Do you know the difference between these two views?

In the first one, you do anything for him is because you have to do. In the second one, you do anything for him is because you choose to do, you love to do.
In the first one viewpoint , you will see a world full of fears. You have to do many things to prevent bad things from happening. In the second one viewpoint, you will see a world full of love. You can choose to do many things to make good things happen.
You are doing a great thing to show how you can love him. If you didn't do anything such as with him, that will not reduce any of the love you give him.
You can choose to turn your face  to the side of love and light.
You will not lose  each other. Because love is forever, even as life goes by.